Waiting is the hardest thing to do. Still no word from the landlord as I begin to worry about credit scores, W-2's, guarantors, and all sorts of other things that sound way too adult to have to deal with right now. My boyfriend keeps a calm temperament and helps abet the anxiety that tries to creep through the cracked window as we sleep at night, our house made of boxes as I am still packed from the promise of our first apartment (the shady realtor deal that we were supposed to move into September 1st). So now I live between the floorboards of my mother's house, the desk chairs of my school, and the ever screeching train tracks. I know, I know, more commute complaining. I'll stop now.
On a brighter note, classes are going really well. This semester's theme seems to be integrating the mind and the body, in the sense that in several of my classes, focus is aimed towards "hereness" and presence, on really being in your body and experiencing thought and sensation (something I struggle with greatly). In one class we watched an three and a half hour long old French film called 23 Commerce Street, in which a woman performed a multitude of everyday tasks with very little dialogue. On one hand, one might say that the film was exceptionally boring, bordering invasive. On the other hand, it really attuned the audience with the subtleties of movement and action while revealing the slightest of changes through body language. We're now tasked with coming up with a performance of our own, of "unconscious behaviors." So, in theory, we're consciously performing a routine of unconscious behaviors, while conscious also of being watched. BAM, hello mind-fuck. Trying playing around with that in your head.
A Thought: Set a really fun goal for yourself to make at least one new friend a day. Talk to the barista you get your morning latte from, compliment the guy on the street with the awesome red pants, or ask how someone's day is going and really be interested in their honest answer. Doing so not only calms and cheers up the people around you, but it also helps you to feel more connected to the collective. When you're more attuned with others, it's easier to feel more attuned with yourself, as well. It's a way of saying "hey world, I'm here right now," and sometime's other people's acknowledgment of your existence helps you to feel more grounded.
A Find: I got an absolutely amazing sweater from Free People a few weeks ago and am only now, in this newly brisk weather, able to enjoy it freely. It's called the poetic verse sweater blazer, it's amazingly comfortable, warm yet light, and just altogether wonderful.
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